It's Better Not to Be
by LovePoisonedHeart
Summary: Elizabeth only wishes to be forgiven, but will Jack forgive her? J/E A two-shot -Or something of the like-
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Pirates of the Caribbean. They all belong to their rightful owner, Disney.

A/N: Hello everybody! So this story takes place during AWE after they save Jack but they still are in the locker. I have to say that this is my first Jack/Elizabeth story. I usually write Jack/Oc stories but I decided to give this a try. I did vow never to write one of these stories because I thought I wouldn't like it, but... if anyone heard the saying 'you never know it until you try it' and so I found out that I actually like this pairing. :) And I have to say that I was inspired by this one super super awesome fantastic J/E story that I read. It's called Vulnerant Omnes, Ultima Necat and it's written by the wonderful author, Florencia7. The story is truly amazing and breathtaking. (And I really encourage everyone to read it) It also made me like the pairing too. So... anyways... here is the small story I wrote. I stayed up 'til midnight writing this but I didn't get a chance to post it. I hope everyone likes it! Even though it is a bit sad... And reviews are greatly appreciated. Constructive criticism is accepted! And no flames please. Thanks! :)

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There was always a cold place in the world, a chilling and depressing hole. It was almost as if she was falling deeper and deeper into it and there was no way to crawl back out. The guilt washed up into her mind like a violent storm, blowing her away to no return. She was sinking further into the mind-crushing oblivion… She had lied to herself constantly until she couldn't take it a second longer. Her heart was thrashing ragingly, hating herself for torturing it. How could she be so… cold and so uncaring?

A shivering chill went up her spine as she blankly stared off into space, her gaze frozen like ice. Memories of him lingered in her mind, memories of his flawless face, his mesmerizing caressing touch, his warm delectable breath hovering over her icy lips, his rough hands placed ever so delicately on her hips, and mostly, his beautiful chocolate eyes that pierced right through her mind. Why did she lie? She wanted to hide her real feelings… But now, she could never live with herself. She felt as if she murdered herself instead of him; she had murdered her own heart with the click of the metal shackles around his wrist.

_What about Will?_ Well, what about him? She didn't know anymore, but all she wanted was Jack. _Jack. _She smiled faintly as an image of him flashed in her mind, taunting her. She wanted him so bad; she wanted to reach out and feel his smooth tan face, to feel his warmth under her trembling hands. She was so confused about her heart's choice but now she knew who held her heart. She was using Will merely as a tool to hide her affections, but she couldn't hold her love any longer. She persistently told herself she loved Will just so she wouldn't hurt his feelings, but by doing that, she hurt herself.

Now Jack hated her. He hated her with a passion… but she loved him so much that it was undeniable.

_'I'm not sorry,' _she had told him but now she was sorrier than she had ever been. She promised herself she wouldn't regret it, yet here she was, nearly on the verge of crying, regretting her decision until she hurt. She was ruthless and there was no way possible for her to ever forgive herself for committing such a horrible crime.

'_Persuade me.'_ His silky voice echoed in her head, making her feel sick to her stomach. Persuade him she did… persuade him to his death… persuade him to hate her…

She let out a shaky breath, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall from her watering eyes. How much she longed to hear his name once more… to feel his name roll off the tip of her tongue. "Jack." She whispered feebly, her voice barely audible, almost sounding as if a ghost had said it.

"So the murd'ress is feeling remorse." Jack's velvety voice reached her ears, breaking her from her wrecked state of mind. His voice was so aloof and distant; it was breaking her heart.

"I—I'm not." She stammered untruthfully, trying to stifle a sniff but she sniffed anyways. '_Stop crying!' _she reprimanded herself inwardly. She shook her head from side to side, trying to stop the tears of shame from flowing out.

"Why so disheartened, dear Miss Swann?" He jeered mockingly, his voice strangely exuberant because he was hurting her yet bitter because she betrayed him. She believed he was trying to hurt her to get his revenge, but she wouldn't let it break her… would she?

"I'm not disheartened." She lied, squeaking her words out in a peculiar high-pitched voice. She nervously nibbled on her lower lip with apprehension, fearing that he just might see right through her and mock her for it. All she wanted was to be forgiven…and be in his inviting arms… but she wasn't sure if he would ever forgive her…

"Then why are there tears on your cheeks?" he queried, watching her furiously rub the tears away with the hems of her sleeves.

"What? What tears?" She pretended to be dumbfounded and she glanced around herself until her eyes suddenly met with his. She found her eyes glued in its position, unable to break the contact with his captivating chocolate eyes that held anger and pain. She couldn't help but cringe slightly at the sight of his unhappy face. She wanted him to be happy, but she had taken that away from him, taken it all greedily for her own selfish purposes…

Jack rolled his eyes with annoyance and stepped to her side, breaking the gaze between them by staring at the calm water. "Don't lie, Miss Swann." He snapped irritably, leaning against the railing. That deceiving little tempting murderess was burning in his mind, incessantly bothering him, nagging at him, killing him… She had wrapped her icy evil fingers around his heart and destroyed his every bit of hope, his hope in trusting her…

She missed how he would call her by her first name, the way her name spilled out of his mouth so naturally. '_Lizzie,' _he would say, his eyes sparkling with mischief and tenderness… Time was ticking and the silence was killing her slowly. She felt the need to apologize for murdering him, yet she was afraid of his reaction, afraid that he might laugh and shove her apology right back into her face. "I didn't mean it." She spoke quietly, her body trembling with worry, her hands shakily landing on the railing to keep her self from falling. "I didn't mean it when I said that I wasn't sorry. Because now… I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He said tilting his head so he could look at her face, her pretty face that now disgusted him. Her face never disgusted him until now because she had betrayed him, she had killed him, and lastly, because she had lied to him, tricking him to believe she actually felt something for him when it all was just an imaginary figment of her heart. Her true heart belonged to Will, not him…

She blinked with absolute confusion, taken aback from his response. _Don't be? _How could she not be? She was the one who hurt him! She couldn't even forgive herself!

"Pirate." He sneered, his word splicing through her heart like a sharp metal sword easily maneuvering through her flesh.

Her breath hitched and she let out a small gasp of sadness. "Jack, I—I didn't mean to." She cried with exasperation while her guilt was eating her up, tearing her heart into shreds. "I wanted to…" She paused wistfully, wondering how she could explain the truth to him.

"Wanted to what?" He leaned forward, his enticing breath caressing her quivering lips. He licked his lips subconsciously, remembering her soft lips pressed against his, those same tasty lips that brought him to his death. He just wanted one more taste of her intoxicating flavor… _Curse me for being curious and damn that damnable she-devil _he said mentally and quickly brought his gaze to her eyes, trying to refrain from kissing her tempting lips.

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, forcing her heart-aching tears back. "I wanted to hide the truth." She mumbled quietly as her vision became a blur from all the tears leaking out of her eyes. "I tried so hard but I can't deny it anymore. I thought by killing you that it would make all of my feelings disappear but I was wrong."

Jack stared at her, surprised, but he shook his bafflement away as quickly as it came. He involuntarily closed the space between their lips, capturing her lips in a fierce kiss, pouring out all his resentment and pain by harshly biting her lower lip, receiving a gasp from her. He hated her for she polluted his mind every second of the day and even in the night. He couldn't escape her for one second of the day… He pulled away, watching her eyes flutter open with curiosity.

Suddenly, she felt something oddly cold pressed against the side of her head. Realization hit her and she froze in her spot, panic crawling into her mind. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she stared into his eyes that burned with hatred.

"A life for a life, you took mine and it's only fair if I took yours." He said huskily, his finger toying with the trigger of his pistol. "Why should I believe a word you say? After all, you're a murderess." The sight of tears sprinkling her face made him feel a pang of sympathy, almost making him regret placing the pistol at her head.

"Jack, you've got to believe me." She sputtered out between her soft sobs that made her body tremble. "Even if you do kill me, you should know that I'm telling the truth." She said boldly as she curled her hands up into fists, preparing for her death.

He cocked the pistol, his fingers trembling as they touched the trigger. He grimaced and slowly pressed down on the trigger but not fully. For some strange reason, he couldn't bring himself to pull the trigger, the solution to end her _beautiful _life. He growled with frustration and flung his pistol onto the deck, watching it skid away and hit the mast with a dull thump. He stomped away, storming to his quarters to hide away from her. It was his perfect chance for revenge and he let it slip through his fingers like fine pebbles of sand. How could he let her go free? She owed him for killing him. "I pity you for you have nothing left except your heartless self." He said aloud as he heard Elizabeth trail behind him. He whirled around to give her one more glare only to see that she was holding his pistol in her delicate hand. His eyes widened as she dug the barrel of the pistol into the side of her neck.

"I rather be dead than alone." She said meekly, forcing herself to look into his eyes.

His mind was spinning dizzily, confused. He wanted her dead, but why did he want to knock that pistol right out of her hand? "Don't be silly, Lizzie." He blurted out hastily, his heart thumping loudly in his ears. Even if he did hate her, he didn't want her to kill herself… yet?

She touched the trigger as she held the gun limply in her hand. Jack swiftly jolted forward and knocked the pistol out of her hand. He then grabbed her wrists and pushed her against the doors of his quarters, breathing raggedly.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, wishing she had never killed him so he would be the same Jack that he used to be, the same Jack that was filled with mischief and warmth.

"It's better not to be." He replied lowly, his lips brushing over hers for less than a second before he pushed himself away from her, leaving her feeling cold and empty. He snatched up his pistol from the floor and staggered away in search for his rum to slosh the lingering memories away. _The memories of her…_

Elizabeth gaped at his retreating form, feeling quite breathless and torn inside. She felt so alone and so cold. It was almost like living in a world with nothing but herself… "Jack." She cried, her voice coming out like a weak croak. He didn't seem to hear her and if he did, he was probably ignoring her feeble cries. She slumped to the ground in a heap, slowly wrapping her arms around her legs, attempting to hide herself from the world. No one was there to comfort her… no one... not even herself...

She knew the moment she set her eyes on Jack that she felt something for him, the moment when he saved her in Port Royal and placed her on the wooden planks of the docks. Her heart fluttered inside, melting at the sight of his drenched concerned face, the face that now hated her… She let out a choked cry, sobbing herself to sleep outside of his cabin. If he only knew how sorry she was… and how much she loved him…

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A/N: Please leave a review! :)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hello again! ^^ I felt sort of bad for leaving my story on such a sad note, and my brilliant reviewers were encouraging me to write another chapter! And so, I decided to be fair and listen to their pleas! :D So thanks a hundred million and infinity times my reviewers! And now, here's a chapter dedicated to my fantastic reviewers! Hope everyone enjoys! And reviews are appreciated! :)

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The rum was not enough to satisfy his thirst of ridding her from his memory. Why was it so hard to forget about her? She wasn't that special… or was she? He grimaced with irritation and drunkenly staggered toward his cabin, finding a limp body slumped against his doors. Narrowing his confused eyes at the figure, he realized that it was his beautiful Lizzie; she was still where they last spoke. A frown crossed his features as he began to wonder why he thought of her as 'his beautiful Lizzie'.

It was almost as if his arms reached out involuntarily, hoisting her up in his arms, carrying her bridal style before he opened his doors, taking her inside. He rushed to his bedroom and carefully placed her in the center of his bed. He gently pushed a strand of golden hair out of her face, taking in her disheveled state. Dried tears stained her face like white crusty snowflakes and her eyelids were slightly pink and puffy.

Something inside of him writhed in pain to see her like this and even more so because he knew he was the cause of her pain. She deserved it though for she killed him, sending him into a dreaded place where nightmares haunted his dreams, a place where he was far away from contact with her and her angelic voice, the voice that helped him sleep at night and overcome his troubles.

Her eyelids fluttered open and she blinked with stupefaction, for she was no longer outside, away from the cold that frosted her mind. She felt… strangely warm… Her blurred vision quickly became focused and Jack was above her, staring at her with a different glint in his eyes, a gleam that was thoughtful and not cynical or hateful. She tilted her head to the side as he continued to inspect her with his wistful gaze.

"Jack?" she whispered with an almost inaudible voice as she tried to find out why he was staring at her like that. She didn't mind him gazing at her at all, but it was absolutely strange after they just argued. "Jack?" she repeated timidly, sitting up on the bed.

"Aye?" he replied softly, pondering on how she never ceased to amaze him with her amazing voice. Every time she spoke, he could feel jolts of warmth spread throughout his body; it was such an overwhelming feeling that he craved for more. He leaned forward, desperate to hear her voice once more. He realized it then that her voice enraptured him, but it wasn't just her voice, it was her being her entirely, she being Lizzie, the amazing woman that held his heart in her delicate yet powerful hands. He couldn't resist her anymore, not one bit. There was nothing as powerful as her to rid her from his mind, not even his once most precious rum.

And who gave a bloody hell about Will? Right now, he was out of the way and Lizzie was all his… If she would let him show her how much he needed her…how much he depended on her… Maybe, if he just forgave her this once, she would come to realize that he held affectionate feelings for her and if she was telling the truth, she too held affectionate feelings for him. He wished so hard, silently begging her to love him back.

"I'm…" she murmured but hushed with bewilderment when Jack placed his index finger on her lips, silencing her. The feeling was strange indeed… to receive such an intimate gesture from him, whom she thought hated her.

"Sorry," he finished for her, his finger trailing down her lip to her chin, sending shivers of searing fire down her back. "I know," said he, hastily pulling his hand back to himself, afraid that she might turn away from him, and yet, she didn't. "Lizzie." He added quickly, licking his parched lips that yearned to meet hers, as a shy smile formed on her face.

"Jack?" She leaned toward him and grabbed his hand, holding his hand between her hands. "I'll do anything for forgiveness, just name it and I'll do it!" she blurted out in one breath.

"Do… nothing." He drew himself closer to her and breathed hotly on her lips. "Lizzie."

"Then say my name... again." Elizabeth pleaded as surprise flickered over Jack's face.

"Lizzie?" he repeated as she nodded her head vigorously. "Lizzie." He cupped her cheeks, slowly pulling her closer to him. "Lizzie." He decided he had enough of resisting her and kissed her eagerly, tangling his hands into her golden locks of hair. He then began nuzzling his head against her neck, kissing her throat gently.

"I don't know how you manage to forgive me… after what I've done…" she felt hot tears well up in her eyes as Jack stopped his ministrations to glance into her hazel eyes.

"Don't think about it, luv." He smiled and pressed his lips against hers. She tasted like a sweet spring day, the fresh morning dew beautifully lingering on his lips. He felt her lips returning the favor, massaging his lower lip with soft bites.

"How do you manage… I mean, how do you have the heart to forgive me? After I burned your rum… killed you… did everything possible that could make you hate me." She could feel her throat tighten as memories of his death haunted her mind.

His lips froze on her cheek before he lowered his head to her ear, whispering quietly. "First off, ye certainly got us off that island… Secondly, with a kiss like that, I'd more than oblige to be killed."

"But you were angry." She tilted her head to look him square in the eye.

"Aye, but that's because ye killed me without me consent. There's plenty a difference." He continued with sprinkling small kisses on her face, kissing her many times. "Ye did everything ye could to make me hate ye, but doesn't mean it would happen."

"I didn't want you to hate me… I thought that loving you was a lie. I thought I loved Will, but I don't. Want to know why?" said she as he nodded his head with interest. "Because… because I love you."

He stared blankly at her, surprised at her response. Was it possible? For her to love him? Or maybe he just wished hard enough to hear it and her words were only a part of his imagination. "What?" he sat down on the bed, holding her hand in his.

"I said… because I love you." She repeated louder, no longer afraid to say what her heart was telling her to say. "I'll love you until the day my heart turns blue from frost, I'll love you until the sun no longer burns, I'll love you until my fingers curl up from old age, and I'll love you forever, even if there isn't a forever." She spoke fervently, nearly shouting the words with happiness.

"Well, in that case," he brushed his lips over her now warm lips, "I'll love ye until the sea ends… which I know will never end." He smiled, mirth dancing in his dark eyes. "Lizzie, luv… Come with me." He stood up before he helped her stand. "I want ye to see somethin'."

"What?" she questioned curiously, as he dragged her to the doors quickly. "What's the rush?"

"T'is a surprise." He smiled mysteriously as she squinted her eyes with bewilderment. "Close your eyes and promise not to peek, savvy?"

"I promise." She closed her eyes and clutched onto Jack's arm tightly, putting all her trust in him to lead her to this 'surprise'.

He waved a hand in her face to make sure she listened before he guided her outside, taking her to the bow. "Watch your step." He instructed as they climbed up the stairs. "Now… open your eyes and look up." He whispered huskily in her ear.

Her eyes flew open, taking in the enthralling sight before her, gasping with awe. The sky was lit up with so many shining stars that twinkled like jewels. "It's… exquisite." She breathed almost silently while Jack wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her close to his body. "The stars… they're so lonely."

"Nay… See a star s'never lonely since they 'ave many people staring up at them… I think of them as boastful little buggers. Though, exquisite… just like ye." He could tell she was blushing beet red at his comment, and he grinned before he breathed in her scent of flowers and many spices that he couldn't place his finger on. "May I?" he released her and offered her a hand as she returned a confused look. "A dance, milady."

"Why, of course," She let out a giggle, placing her hand in his callused yet lovely hands. They slowly began dancing in a waltz, the both of them staring into each other's eyes, neither daring to break the captivating contact. The soft waves of the ocean around them swished like a somber, though pretty, melody, and the stars glittered like bright candles in the sky, lighting up the dance stage, which was just the bow of the helm. They were in their own world of fantasies, a never ending happy ever after, a beautiful dream that was not a dream. They were in a place where their hearts were together as one, so close that they could hear each other's movement, the beat of their hearts… never alone…

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A/N: Please leave a review! :)


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